I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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