every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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