She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize