is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
