If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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