I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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