There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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