does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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