Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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