I just made out with a guy for $7.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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