Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
