I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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