oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
