You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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