Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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