Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
