Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
