If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
