But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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