did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
