SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
