that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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