id be glad to
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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