All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
