Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
