I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize