apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
