Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
