I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
