what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
