Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Dignity is for republicans.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
