its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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