he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
