He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
