Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
