she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
