She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
