remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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