East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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