TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
