I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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