do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
