i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I will be naked everywhere
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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