did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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