I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
kristin has been a bad kristin
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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