i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
