She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
This is the high leading the old right now
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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