i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
