The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
