I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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