final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize