I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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