Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
