foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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