Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
