Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
