Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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