Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Randomize
