If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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