also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
