dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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