Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
